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When I am ONE HUNDRED years old……

9 Jul

J recently turned four and her excitement at having achieved that milestone was complete treat to watch. There were a million and a half things on her when-I-am-four-to-do list. Once the excitement had settled down, pop came an unexpected question, “Mamma, what am I going to do when I am ONE HUNDRED years old”? And I did not know what to say. Where did she get this idea of turning one hundred was what I was wondering.

Well, today I heard the very same thing from another kid while dropping J off to school. Here is a bit of that conversation –

Little girl to teacher: I do not want to go to this classroom from tomorrow, I want to go to pre-K class

Teacher: But sweetie, this is pre-K classroom

Little girl: No, this is room 10

I couldn’t help joining in: Tell me sweetie, what room is pre-K classroom?

Little girl(thinking real hard): Room ONE HUNDRED!!!

There you go – ONE HUNDRED again…….And what made it more hilarious was the animation with which it was uttered – WONN HUNNNDREDD!!!!! Now I knew that this WONN HUNNNDREDD was an object of every four-year old’s fancy!

And when J asked me again the next day – what will I get and what will I do when I am WONN HUNNNDREDD years old???!! I simply said, You’ll get a cake with WONN HUNNNDREDD candles, my love 🙂 And she flashed me a beaming smile.


Friday Ramblings

25 Jul

The mind wanders at times and this is one of those times and I am surprised that I let it. And it is so unlike me. What is that thing playing on TV? What is that smell in my hair? What’s that noise? Is the door locked? What time is it? It is 2 minutes past midnight and it is technically Saturday. Should I change the name of the post to Saturday Ramblings instead of Friday? Does it really matter? I think I am okay because it WAS Friday when I actually sat down to write the post. So this post started on Friday and finished on Saturday. Okay hold on, its not finished yet and there is a good chance it might even spill into Sunday. On second thoughts, I am going to finish it right now in the next few minutes as I am bad at completing posts that drag. Can you believe how many drafts I have lying in my post-box??? ENOUGH, STOP IT, no one really cares about the trivial details in the lifecycle of my posts…….

Okay, continuing my chain of thoughts, if I were to go back to my post-box and were to read my half baked thoughts, I would not be surprised that most of them talk about parenthood in general. Or at least attempt to, probably HALF-HEARTEDLY which is why they are incomplete. AND HERE I GO AGAIN. What is parenthood really? I wish 10 million times that it was an objective question – A)YES B)NO C)THEY ALL DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN. I guess, what I am trying to say is that there are no straightforward answers, they have to be dug up. And there’s more, the same question could have two different answers depending on the time and date it was raised. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? It’s a whole new kind of fun, not the eat-drink-and-make-merry kind though, but more like the one that surprises you, something like I-never-knew-I-could-do-this or I-never-knew-I could-be-so-patient kind of fun. It’s not science so you cannot rely on facts and figures and there’s nothing called DATA. But it’s not rocket science either. The more I think about it, the more I feel that it is really like a new job, EXCEPT that you are madly in love with your boss and you cannot get fired, EVER.

WHY DOES THIS THING I AM EATING TASTE LIKE CARDBOARD? Because it is 1:22 am and I SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN BED BY NOW!! Well, there you go, before I started rambling again, I am going to call it a day and yay, I managed to finish and publish this one.

My Little Goat

23 Jul

Lately Jiya has been doing the weirdest of things(which I hear are normal for a one-year old and they would seem weird only to everybody else). Sure, its the discovery phase and everything but whats to discover in dragging a laptop bag(which is easily twice her weight) all through the house and after falling over 17 times she finally sees the light of the day and settles down with the POTS AND PANS in the kitchen ignoring the 10 million age appropriate toys she owns. Its mind boggling to see the routine every single day and I cannot help but smile and eat her up.

I think in her previous life she was someone who earned her living doing laundry. The moment she sees a piece of cloth and I mean it, towels, napkins, apron, rag cloths, bedsheets, pillow covers, you name it, she has to grab one and run away and stash it in her secret hiding place and it will resurface the next day under the bed or her toy basket or even the shoe cabinet. Needless to say that her favorite digging spot is the laundry basket.

On second thoughts she could also have been a trash collector or a more fancier, treasure hunter, if there is anything like that. If I ever lose an earring, I can trust her to find it and the same applies to quarters, tags removed from new clothes, hair clips, cherry stalks, milk can caps, cheerios etc. What can I say, of course I am secretly happy that she found that earring but also relieved that the ‘treasures’ or ‘trash’ did not end up in her mouth. Turns out teaching her ‘GIVE IT TO MAMMA’ was not a complete waste of time.

These days I think that she might also have been a goat or a cow. How else would you explain eating karela whose juice was actually meant to be applied to her thumb in order to stop her from thumb sucking(karela or bitter gourd is an extremely bitter Indian vegetable) but surprise surprise, Jiya had stuck a karela slice into her mouth and was enjoying her snack. The karela juice formula had to be abandoned even before commencing the trial. Orange peel comes in a close second, I’ve tried to reason, WHY??? and ‘BRIGHT ATTRACTIVE ROUND ORANGE BALL’ is the best explanation I can come up with. She will grab at an orange and bite off a hearty bit of peel. No one knows what happens(to humans) when you eat orange peel, although I have not heard of any disadvantages of eating orange peel and I know that it does not cause any harm to cows and goats. We once had a dog when I was growing up, that would eat papaya skin and would still be alive and kicking the next morning.

Well, if Jiya was all this, I wonder what that makes me????


28 Jun

My laptop crashed about 10 days back and ever since I have been scrambling to get it working again. I spent an hour on the phone with the customer support representative and he asked me to open up the machine and do stuff that I’d never ever do on my own. But nothing worked and the verdict was that I would have to ship it off to the service center for repairs but the catch was that they would simply restore it to factory settings which meant I’d lose all my data. So I was scrambling again to get a data backup before shipping it off. I was extremely frustrated and upset that I would be laptopless for the next few days. I had not realized how dependent I had become on the laptop and I think this upset me more than anything else.

Something very nice happened the same day and I couldnt help smiling. We had been teaching Jiya a few words here and there and she suddenly said M-O-M, although I am doubtful if she knows what it means, but it was enough to lift my spirits. She kept repeating it every few minutes and I was all smiles by the time she had finished exercising her new found vocabulary. She started again the next morning, but quickly I realized that instead of saying M-O-M she was saying B-O-M. In her sleep, she had forgotten how to say the first letter M and I was now her B-O-M, no, actually BOM BOM BOM……

A toast to motherhood

26 Apr


This is my entry for the Indusladies Mother’s Day contest.

Yesterday, I was watching the movie ‘Marley and Me’ and Jennifer Aniston, a mom of three, says, “I cannot believe the amount of sacrifice I have made to become this person that I am not” or something to that effect.

This got me thinking about how true it was, it occurred to me that I had indeed given up so many things to become this person that I WAS NOT and the best part was that I hadnt even realized it!!

I remember last year, I was hoping to have my bundle of joy in my hands by Mother’s Day but it didnt happen as Jiya was in no hurry to leave her cozy place and now here I am one year later with this little monster raining chaos in my house and I cant get enough of her.

When the stork dropped her off, I remember the first question I asked my husband was if she had any hair, which I now realize was the dumbest thing I could have said at the “most beautiful moment of our life”. I also remember the day when I got my ultrasound at 20 weeks. Raghu was in Bangalore and I in California, so I decided to get a video tape of the baby swimming inside me so he could catch up on what he had missed. But I was terrified when I saw the images on the doctor’s screen. To me, the baby looked like E.T. and I reluctantly got the tape for Raghu but I swore never to watch it again, although I do think E.T. is cute in an alien sort of way. That night, I felt like a terrible human being – what kind of person compares their unborn child to an alien??

And then there were those nasty spells where everything was the baby’s fault(not to mention the husband) for e.g.

  • make me wear those disgusting maternity clothes
  • making me feel guilty for even glancing at those Mai Tais my friends were gulping down
  • lodging her limbs into my ribcage and thinking it was my idea of FUN
  • making me look fat and round(who cares about the motherhood glow nonsense!)
  • making me wear cheap flip flops instead of my designer high heels
  • giving me nightmares about going into labor in an airplane at 30,000 feet
  • making stange people want to touch my belly

Yeah, I’ve had my share of ups and downs, all right. So, did I turn out to be a terrible mom? I think not, I did just fine, I actually exceeded my own expectations. Thus far, Jiya has never ceased to surprise me and I am amazed that she manages to bring out the best and the worst in me and I understand the true meaning of my mom’s words, “You’ll know when you become a mom”. I want to give myself a pat on the back and to all the fellow moms out there.


And I know that this Mother’s Day, I want to raise a toast to myself, to motherhood and to my daughter and most importantly to my mother who is my role model for the biggest lesson of MOMMYHOOD.

Devil in Red PJs

3 Apr


A photo sequence of little red riding hood(minus the hood) waking up frame by frame from her beauty sleep. I wonder what she is thinking – “Just leave me alone, you crazy woman. Seriously, I would love to see you throw a fit when I do this to you and broadcast you over the internet!!”

Is it a boy or a girl?

30 Mar

The day I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to find out whether it was a boy or a girl! But I had to wait for 20 long weeks to know. Not that I cared about the pink or blue stuff, I just wanted to be able to address the human inside me appropriately and make meaningful girl talk or man talk. So I could not control my excitement on the morning of the sex-determination appointment. I arrived about 20 minutes late to the doctors office and felt like it was over for me and that they were going to punish me by hiding the baby’s sex and I’d have to wait until the final D day. But no such thing happened and the ultrasound nurse gave me the green light shortly afterward that it was a GIRL and even gave me a girl picture to prove it (which was completely useless as I couldnt even figure out the correct orientation of the photo and it could have been a black and white picture of almost anything!) and I simply nodded my head in agreement. But the point is that, my wish had been granted and the next instant, the whole world had gotten the news except one person, my DAD. He was adamant that we do not tell him and my mom had the toughest time not letting it slip out. She had to warn relatives, friends, neighbours, the postman, the dog and anyone in direct contact with him that he didnt know and we wished to keep it that way. I had to fill-in-the-blanks on my phone conversations with mom when my dad was within hearing distance of her and if there had been a third person in the room, they would have surely thought my mom was crazy. Once, I almost gave it away when I sent him pictures from my baby shower but I think he was too preoccupied looking at my enormous tummy to notice the ‘pink’ balloons in the background.

My best friend from school was going to have her baby around the same time as me and her little girl arrived four days before mine. All was well in my dad’s unknown and undisturbed world until he called her father to congratulate him on the arrival of his grand daughter –

My dad – Hello there, many congratulations to you on your little darling!!

Friends dad – Thanks man, I cant believe I am a grand dad, just anytime now you’ll have your little princess too!!

My dad – What, how do you know it’ll be a little princess?

Friends dad – C’mon now, the whole world knows!

My poor dad, simply hung up the phone! And well, so much for all the hush-hush and secret conversations and abrupt silences and weird we-know-but-cant-say baby references!!!