Tag Archives: layoff

My layoff story

31 Mar

I strolled into the office on a routine Wednesday morning muttering my good mornings and hellos like everyday. I had a 9 am scheduled with my boss and went to his office. He sat me down and broke the news – because of the way things are blah blah blah, we have to let you go and today is your LAST DAY blah blah blah. I had never been so stunned in my life. My brain just froze and I was completely devoid of any thoughts for a few seconds. They threw me under a bus and then they ask me if I was okay. Guys, I feel like S*** right now, exactly the way one would feel if they were under a bus, thank you very much!! My second thought was that the building should just blow off and I should be the lone survivor.

Flashback:

I think when I was basking in my not-pregnant-anymore-new-mommy bliss, these evil beings were hatching a plot. There I was, my ridiculously naive self against the conspirators totally unaware of the suspicious happenings around me.

Back from flashback:

The most insane part of the whole episode was that the very next instant, I was enemy number one. All my accessories were confiscated and I felt like I was being court martialed and banished to Afghanistan for the rest of my life to live in an underground prison.

Present Day:

I survived, thanks to my little girl, mom-made food, chilled beer and an extremely supportive husband!!!

Things to do if you get laid off

23 Mar

I have compiled my very own post-lay-off-to-do list and if such an unfortunate fate were ever to befall you, this might be a start. So here goes

  • First and foremost, freely curse your employer in the privacy of your home. You’d be surprised at the level of profanity you can achieve. Trust me, its very liberating.
  • Be completely honest about the situation, to yourself as well as others even prospective employers.
  • Go shopping, but mind you, do it before your severance pay runs out so you’ll feel less guilty later.
  • Try something that you’ve never done before for e.g – attend a spiritual lecture, go to the mall and photograph random people(you might want to ask for permission beforehand, you can never tell someone’s sensitivity level) and then figure out who they look like from the images, read all the spam and junk email you get, watch a foreign language TV channel etc
  • Send an email to someone you havent written to for at least the last 5 years. You’ll not only spend a few hours trying to figure out the right words but also what they looked like. Double check that its the correct person before clicking the send button.
  • Think about that one thing on your desire list that you’ve been postponing for ever, now’s the time to do it!!
  • Finally, remember that its only your job that’s over, not your life. But if you are one of those my-job-is-my-life kind of people, then you better work on that resume!!

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